Wills Feeling Stifled, Gets Kate Lessons

Prince William has reportedly used his influence to get a new job for girlfriend Kate Middleton. Miss Middleton, who has had one part-time job in fashion and no experience as a professional photographer, will have a series of photography lessons with the iconic Mario Testino, a renowned photographer who has often been featured in magazines like Vogue.

Testino was a favorite of the late Princess Diana, and was apparently approached around the time of her memorial service last summer. According to one report, Middleton visited Testino's Manhattan studio in November, and plans to return in March for her lessons.

With Middleton engaged in a hobby, she will free up a lot of Prince William's time. According to a friend quoted in The Sun, "Now Kate is focused on something it will be far easier for William to throw himself into his military and royal duties."

I guess that's one way to get your unemployed girlfriend out of your hair.

Middleton to Get 24-hour Security

Reports in UK newspapers suggest that Kate Middleton is due to start getting round-the-clock bodyguards, courtesy of British taxpayers. Some call this the strongest sign yet that her status is changing and that an engagement may be imminent.

QEII meets Wii

According to a report in UK magazine The People, Kate Middleton got Prince William a Wii for Christmas. But he's having to share it with his grandmother, Queen Elizabeth II.

Apparently the Queen shows signs of becoming a devoted gamer.

Drinking Drought for Prince William

In preparation for his eventual role as the head of the armed forces for Britain, Prince William will be making the rounds of all the military branches. His time with the army is about to come to an end, and next up is a 4-month stint with the Royal Air Force.

But the 25-year-old prince may find the RAF a bit more restrictive. As he'll be undergoing flight training, he'll have to adhere to the rules of that program, which include drinking no more than two beers a day, and not drinking past 8 p.m.

And his attachment to an air force base in Lincolnshire (in the north of England) will put a damper on trips to London nightclubs.

The prince will also be missing girlfriend Kate Middleton's 26th birthday bash as it falls in the middle of his first week with the RAF.

First Move In, Then Redecorate

My report from last week that Kate Middleton has moved into Clarence House is now followed by news that she's redecorating. According to several sources, Kate finds the current decor of Wills' apartments in the royal residence he shares with his brother and father to be "old-fashioned."

A source in the household staff has been reported as saying, "Kate is walking around with all the confidence of a princess-in-waiting. Some of the staff have called her the Lady of the House. She is making everyone aware of who wears the trousers in her relationship."

Or maybe she's just bored and shouldn't have quit her job so soon?

Wills Buys Kate Fake Diamonds

According to several British media outlets, Prince William's Christmas gift to Kate Middleton is a pair of white gold earrings set with...cubic zirconia.

Still eagerly waiting for a ring, Kate? If it appears, best get it appraised first.

No Shooting, Just Carrying Dead Animals Around, Please

Back on December 2nd, I reported that Kate Middleton was planning to attend a shooting party at Sandringham with beau Prince William and his father, Prince Charles. According to the report, Miss Middleton wasn't planning on doing any shooting.

Well, any illusions I may have harbored about her newfound animal rights conscience were put to rest this week, when Kate accompanied Wills on a hunting trip in Windsor Great Park and carried around the dead birds he shot down.

Doesn't he have someone on his staff he can pay for such bloody work?

Wills and Kate Living Together?

MSN Australia has reported that Kate Middleton has moved into Clarence House, Prince William's official residence in London.

The MSN report is based on a story in the Sun, a UK tabloid. "Royal observers" are, according to the report, calling it "the strongest indication yet of an impending royal engagement."

But then again, "royal observers" can be called upon to say that about any news story involving the pair, who have been back together six months since their brief breakup in the summer.

Kate Kisses-off Killing

Kate Middleton has been invited to attend a pheasant-shooting party at Sandringham. She's accepted the invite from Prince Charles, but has apparently said she won't be doing any shooting.

Back in October, Middleton came under fire from animals rights groups for joining Prince Charles in a stag hunt at Balmoral. After photos of her holding a rifle (and crawling around in camo gear) were published, The League Against Cruel Sports said it was "her induction into a family with an appalling track record on blood sports."

According to a royal source quoted in the Sunday Mirror, "Kate was deeply upset by the criticism she received after the Balmoral incident and there is no way she is going to risk a repeat slip-up."

I'm sure the animal-rights groups will be touched by her new-found conscience.

Prince and Pal Plan Playtime

England's Prince William is reportedly planning a post-Christmas romantic getaway with girlfriend Kate Middleton. The pair, who are still sporting tans from their last (reportedly $40,000) vacation to a resort in the Seychelles, are apparently booking the entire island of Rodrigues in the Indian Ocean.

The two visited the island together soon after they met. The trip is being looked at as a sign that an engagement is imminent. Other details, however, suggest this may not be the case.

The couple will once again spend Christmas with their respective families, and only jet off together afterward. The prince still has two years left before he finishes his stint in the military, and three years left before reaching the age at which he has repeatedly said is the youngest he'll marry--28.

This is most likely just another romantic getaway.

Kate Middleton Quits Job

What do you call a girl whose only job is to be at her lover's beck and call? Why, a beck-and-call girl, of course. (It's only shortened to call girl if the man pays the woman to do so. If you're a savvy prince, you pick a girl with millionaire parents so that they can support her while she does nothing but tend to your every desire.)

In apparent anticipation of her future role as an indolent princess, Prince William's girlfriend Kate Middleton reportedly quit her job last week as an accessories buyer for a fashion chain.