First Move In, Then Redecorate

My report from last week that Kate Middleton has moved into Clarence House is now followed by news that she's redecorating. According to several sources, Kate finds the current decor of Wills' apartments in the royal residence he shares with his brother and father to be "old-fashioned."

A source in the household staff has been reported as saying, "Kate is walking around with all the confidence of a princess-in-waiting. Some of the staff have called her the Lady of the House. She is making everyone aware of who wears the trousers in her relationship."

Or maybe she's just bored and shouldn't have quit her job so soon?

Wills Buys Kate Fake Diamonds

According to several British media outlets, Prince William's Christmas gift to Kate Middleton is a pair of white gold earrings set with...cubic zirconia.

Still eagerly waiting for a ring, Kate? If it appears, best get it appraised first.

No Shooting, Just Carrying Dead Animals Around, Please

Back on December 2nd, I reported that Kate Middleton was planning to attend a shooting party at Sandringham with beau Prince William and his father, Prince Charles. According to the report, Miss Middleton wasn't planning on doing any shooting.

Well, any illusions I may have harbored about her newfound animal rights conscience were put to rest this week, when Kate accompanied Wills on a hunting trip in Windsor Great Park and carried around the dead birds he shot down.

Doesn't he have someone on his staff he can pay for such bloody work?

Wills and Kate Living Together?

MSN Australia has reported that Kate Middleton has moved into Clarence House, Prince William's official residence in London.

The MSN report is based on a story in the Sun, a UK tabloid. "Royal observers" are, according to the report, calling it "the strongest indication yet of an impending royal engagement."

But then again, "royal observers" can be called upon to say that about any news story involving the pair, who have been back together six months since their brief breakup in the summer.

Norwegian Princess Recites Erotica

A report in Norway's Aftenposten newspaper suggests that country's Princess Märtha Louise was hired to read erotic fairy tales at a recent Christmas event.

The princess, fourth in line to the Norwegian throne, is the daughter of King Harald and Queen Sonja. She also claims to be psychic and to speak with angels.

Chelsy and Harry consider make-up

After breaking up a month ago, 22-year old Zimbabwean blonde bombshell Chelsy Davy and England's 23-year old Prince Harry are apparently getting back together.

Several sources report that Chelsy and Harry are going on a vacation at an undisclosed resort in Africa to decide whether to get back together for good. The resort is where the two spent a happy holiday together at the start of their relationship more than three years ago. Looks like Harry is taking a page out of big brother William's book--Wills did the same when he got back together with Kate Middleton.

According to The Daily Mail, a friend close to the couple said, "it really is make-or-break time and this holiday is a good chance for them to talk things over...Harry is under no illusions, though, about how close he has come to losing her."

As of now, though, Chelsy is planning to leave England and return to her apartment in Cape Town, South Africa.

Princess Bea shacking up?

Reports suggest that 19-year-old Princess Beatrice, daughter of English Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson, may soon be living with 25-year-old American boyfriend Dave Clark in a trendy London neighborhood.

Rather than house-hunting in the posh if rather staid Chelsea area of London, the princess and her beau are said to be looking in Primrose Hill, an equally posh but trendier locale. While Chelsea got a rep for being edgy back in the 60's, Primrose Hill is where most young celebrity Londoners live now.

And apparently the princess has pals there--a wild crowd that includes Kate Moss and British actresses Sadie Frost and Davinia Taylor. Taylor and Moss are best known for their reported cocaine problems; both have done stints in rehab.

Kate Kisses-off Killing

Kate Middleton has been invited to attend a pheasant-shooting party at Sandringham. She's accepted the invite from Prince Charles, but has apparently said she won't be doing any shooting.

Back in October, Middleton came under fire from animals rights groups for joining Prince Charles in a stag hunt at Balmoral. After photos of her holding a rifle (and crawling around in camo gear) were published, The League Against Cruel Sports said it was "her induction into a family with an appalling track record on blood sports."

According to a royal source quoted in the Sunday Mirror, "Kate was deeply upset by the criticism she received after the Balmoral incident and there is no way she is going to risk a repeat slip-up."

I'm sure the animal-rights groups will be touched by her new-found conscience.

Prince Albert of Monaco to Wed?

Prince Albert, ruler of Monaco and the 49-year-old son of Prince Rainier and Grace Kelly, has long been a confirmed bachelor. He's dated a number of glamorous women, mainly European models, but has never been close to marriage, despite having illegitimate children by two different women.

But his latest girlfriend has tongues wagging about marriage. South African blonde beauty Charlene Wittstock, a former Olympic swimmer, has been on the Prince's arm at several high-profile events in the past few months, a change from the Prince's habit of attending alone or with one of his sisters.

Read the AFP story.

Prince and Pal Plan Playtime

England's Prince William is reportedly planning a post-Christmas romantic getaway with girlfriend Kate Middleton. The pair, who are still sporting tans from their last (reportedly $40,000) vacation to a resort in the Seychelles, are apparently booking the entire island of Rodrigues in the Indian Ocean.

The two visited the island together soon after they met. The trip is being looked at as a sign that an engagement is imminent. Other details, however, suggest this may not be the case.

The couple will once again spend Christmas with their respective families, and only jet off together afterward. The prince still has two years left before he finishes his stint in the military, and three years left before reaching the age at which he has repeatedly said is the youngest he'll marry--28.

This is most likely just another romantic getaway.

Prince Buys Palatial Jumbo Jet

Prince Al-Walid bin Talal of Saudi Arabia has ordered a $300 million Airbus A380 to be custom-fitted as a flying palace.

The Prince, the world's 13th richest man, earns a large part of his wealth through his investments in hotels and his extensive blue-chip stock holdings.

The 6,400 square-foot aircraft, weighing in at 560 tons, would hold 900 passengers if outfitted with all economy seating.

Kate Middleton Quits Job

What do you call a girl whose only job is to be at her lover's beck and call? Why, a beck-and-call girl, of course. (It's only shortened to call girl if the man pays the woman to do so. If you're a savvy prince, you pick a girl with millionaire parents so that they can support her while she does nothing but tend to your every desire.)

In apparent anticipation of her future role as an indolent princess, Prince William's girlfriend Kate Middleton reportedly quit her job last week as an accessories buyer for a fashion chain.

England's Prince Harry Dumped by Girlfriend

It seems Prince Harry has been dumped by girlfriend Chelsy Davy. And all I can say is, it's about time.

Apparently, Chelsy caught Harry texting and phoning another girl behind her back.

And it's not the first time Harry has publicly treated her poorly:

• Remember the Canadian waitresses who Harry kissed and went home with?
• How about when Harry left Chelsy waiting at the airport when she arrived in England to start her university term?
• Or when he skipped her birthday to go cheer on a rugby team?

Chelsy appears to be distraught by the breakup, but we're cheering her on for putting her foot down.

Viscount Linley Reported to be Blackmail Target

Viscount Linley, the son of the late Princess Margaret, is the "secret" member of the British Royal Family who was the victim of an alleged blackmail attempt.

Media sources in Britain have been under court order not to reveal Linley's identity. But since Scotland Yard is apparently "completely satisfied" that Linley did not actually do anything he was being allegedly blackmailed for, the point is kind of moot.

The alleged blackmailers, society playboys Ian Strachan, 30, and Sean McGuigan, 40, are awaiting charges on an attempt to extort £50,000 (about $100,000). The two are accused of having made a video tape of one of Linley's aides snorting cocaine and performing a homosexual sex act (allegedly on Linley himself, although as noted above, Scotland Yard--who have the tape and would be in a position to know--say this is untrue).